First Crush
by Shannon730
Summary: Everyone's first crush


Spike and Giles knew this game would lead to trouble, that good sense said to refuse and walk away. Everyone wanted to take their minds off the apocalyptic battle coming tomorrow. Xander had suggested it and Anya and Buffy agreed immediately. Faith was indifferent but would play. Willow would play since they knew everything about her anyway. Tara and Dawn seemed uncomfortable but didn't want to be the ones to say no. Now, depending on the question they could learn more than they ever wanted to know about each other.

They both groaned as Xander read the card: First Crush

00oo00oo00

Xander. It had been Xander for as long as she could remember. The fluking in High School had been inevitable. She had decided way back in kindergarten that she would marry Xander Harris, the same day as the 'Yellow Crayon Incident'. She couldn't remember ever even considering anyone else would be right for her, not until Oz, and even then she had trouble moving Xander from that spot in her heart. How many people could say that their first crush had also become their best friend for nearly twenty years? It wasn't a crush anymore but she'd always love Xander.

00oo00oo00

Mr. Sanders, her seventh grade homeroom teacher. She remembered everything about him, although she hadn't thought about him in a very long time. Back then he'd seemed so mature and so cute for an older man—although now that she thought about he really hadn't been that much older than she is right now. She remembered all the lunch time arguments with her friends over which one of them he liked more, paid more attention to. She remembered how devastated they'd all been when they found out he was married, how that was the reason they didn't have a chance.

00oo00oo00

Willow. He wasn't just saying it because she had. Part of him had fallen in love with her the second she started crying over a broken crayon. They had bonded so quickly that he couldn't remember a time when they weren't best friends. He knew she always thought he didn't know she how she felt, but he did. He just hadn't thought he was good enough for her so he'd pretended. Part of him had been crushed when she'd met Oz and had moved on without him. Now he knew it didn't matter, they'd be there for each other forever.

00oo00oo00

Ethan. He saw Spike and Anya smirk as everyone else's mouth's dropped open in shock. They chose the game and wanted honesty, now they'd have to deal with it. Ethan Rayne had been everything he thought was perfect back then, rebellious, wild, free—not being groomed for a destiny of preparing young girls for their inevitable deaths. Ethan had shown him a world where he could be and do what he wanted, where the future and responsibility didn't matter. He knew Ethan was dangerous but sometimes he wished he could go back to that freedom from responsibility and the future.

00oo00oo00

Her memories told her it was Angel, but that wasn't right. She remembered a crush on Angel but they weren't her memories. Angel had been long gone before she existed. Xander? She remembered a crush on him too, and it still existed after she did. It was a real memory but it had started out as an idea planted by the monks so she didn't think that should count either. Her first crush should be one that came from her head, not the head of some monk somewhere who made up memories for her. Spike. That crush was all her.

00oo00oo00

Maria. Her brother's girlfriend. She remembered thinking she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Maria was one of the few people that ever seemed to notice her, to talk to her. Or at least to talk without beating her down. She never understood what the girl saw in her brother, why she would want to be part of her family. She always wanted to warn her, tell her to run, get away while she could. She didn't though because then she wouldn't see her either and she didn't want to lose the one beautiful person in her life.

00oo00oo00

Cecily. He had loved her so much. She had been so beautiful and was the first time he'd ever really considered leaving his mother. She'd been the first time he'd actually shared his poetry with anyone and she'd destroyed him that day. Taught him never to trust anyone too deeply again, it only led to heartache. In some ways he owed her though, that humiliation had been the beginning of this life for him in many ways and this life was better than the last one, he'd learned what loving someone truly was, even if everyone insisted vampires didn't love.

00oo00oo00

She didn't have an answer, it was so long ago. She was over a thousand years old, how was she to remember a first crush. She'd gotten past that stage hundreds of years ago. She didn't like this game anymore, when Xander had suggested a game about firsts she thought it would be about sex. She didn't want to be the only one without an answer though so she'd say Olaf. She had loved him once, before she'd made him a troll. It was more than crush but she supposed it must have started as a crush at some time.

00oo00oo00

She didn't have crushes. Not now, not ever. Mooning over someone that would never notice her was a waste of time. If she wanted something, or someone, she'd get it. Life was too short to spend time watching someone, too shy to speak up and tell them what you wanted. Even as a kid she hadn't bothered with fantasy like that, she dealt only in the here and now and as a slayer there wasn't the option to live in a shy fantasy world that would get you killed. She would ignore the looks of pity from everyone around her.


End file.
